Imagine a place that’s dark 24 hours a day. Add to the darkness temperatures of minus 20-30 degrees and so much snow that, if you take a wrong step, you’re plunged up to your waist in the white stuff. These certainly aren’t the characteristics I look for in a holiday spot. What is it, then, that makes hundreds of thousands of people visit Lapland every winter?

The vikings believed the lights came from the sparkling armour of the Valkyrie, warlike virgins, who rode across the skies armed with spears

Ho Ho No

This arctic wilderness is of course home to Santa. Especially popular with Brits and the Japanese, Santa lives in the biggest town of a region the size of Britain, yet home to only a million people. But, to tempt me to the land of the long dark, it takes a lot more than a fat man with a beard. It takes bright lights and a big igloo.

Light a virgin

Flickering across the night sky in everything from bright green to deep purple, the Northern lights are about as trippy as it gets. The vikings believed the lights came from the sparkling armour of the Valkyrie, warlike virgins, who rode across the skies armed with spears. The reality is much less macho. The light is produced when emissions of photons, in the Earth’s upper atmosphere, collide with solar wind particles. The only problem is this heavenly spectacle is totally unpredictable.

Say no to snow

That’s where the igloos come in. Although Lapland has no Eskimos, it does have some of the world’s most stylish igloos. At Hotel Igloo Village Kakslauttanen, bang in the middle of the Saariselka fell area near the Urho Kekkonen National Park, you’ll find geometric wonders made of snow. But better than that, you’ll find more modern versions made of glass and wood.

Warm up chillin’ out

Rather then suffer cold so intense your eyelids stick together and your nostril hair freezes, I suggest you go for the 21st century option. The comfortable interior is protected by a transparent shell, which gives you an amazing perspective of those big lights. Wrapped in a quilt, you can chill out in a far less chilly five star igloo, enjoying the total silence and vast array of stars while waiting for heaven’s fireworks.

When the time arrives that you’re treated to those virgin warriors tearing across the skies, be grateful you’re not visiting Santa. No matter how many elves he employs and how much you pleaded with him, he’d never be able to give you a present like this.